Playlist Thursady - Universal DJ

Confession: I just got a new IPhone and I have no idea how to use it. I've been a Blackberry gal all this time because I love the keyboard. My IPod bit the dust the same day I got my new phone, so I've been transferring all my music from pod to phone.

I remember being a kid and having dinner with friends of ours'. While doing dishes, our friend, S would wash and then leave the dishes in the rack, "God's doing the drying."

That's how this playlist came about. It's 80% randomness because I don't know how to use my phone  and 20% I-really-love-that-song.

Sometimes you've just gotta let the Universal DJ do his thang...

(Sometimes, there's no other choice)

* Get Back to Serenity - Vargo (from the Very Best of Cafe del Mar)

* Heading for the Sunrise - Steen Thottrup & Annette Berg (also from Cafe del Mar)

* Helpless - The Band feat. Neil Young (Concert Version from The Last Waltz)
(Cried during my own class while this one played.)

* Smile - Sierra Leon's Refugee All Stars (You need to watch their story) My hubby and I saw them at Starbelly Jam this past summer. The only thing more striking than their story of triumph of the human spirit is their catchy smiles and joyful lyrics)

* Tura Lura Lura - The Band (Live at The Last Waltz)
Also made me cry.

* 100 Billion Stars - Lux (also from Cafe del Mar)

* Arms of Mary - Chilliwack (I love this song. It's about doin' it. Just sayin'.)

* #Beautiful - Mariah Carey feat. Miguel.
Go ahead and judge me. I'm 31 now and I don't care if you know that I like Mariah Carey.

* Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys
Go Girl.

* Heart of Gold - Neil Young

* I'm Goin' Down - Bruce Springsteen
I have a Bruce Springsteen problem...

* The Long Run (Live) - The Eagles

* OM Namah Shivaya - MC Yogi feat. Bhagavan Das
What's a yoga class without a little Sanskrit?

* 6th Avenue Heartache - The Wallflowers
WTF ever happened to The Wallflowers? Anybody?

* Beach Waves - Nature Sounds

* Desire (Ambient Mix) - Blank & Jones

This has been a crazy week, filled with crazy times for this crazy chick. As an aside, I was greatly aided by this book:

 It's not just for artists. It's for anyone (everyone) who's looking to overcome Resistance and get closer to the life we're all hoping to live. It's as practical and pragmatic a guide as you're ever going to get.

 

 



Stop. Camel Time. Haha. Get it?

 

 

 

Looking forward (giddily) to practicing with those of you who can make it to class today. It's a really special day to me because it's a karma class to benefit Bridges to Community. Bridges is a group that's really close to my heart. A few years back I travelled with a girlfriend of mine to Nicaragua. We fund raised for six months and participated in the building of two houses. It improved the lives of people who became very dear to us and it sure as heck changed us in the process. If you'd like to learn more, visit them right here

 

 

One last thing. S and I made this video upon our return:  here

 

 

 Love you more than you know,

 

Er



They call me Dr Love

"It's a good and bad thing to be considered an expert in love. I don't think there's any point in pretending that you get to be an expert by meeting your soul mate early on, going through a few meaningful ups and downs, marrying in a cloud of good taste or even in a meteor shower of funk and crunk, and then dying, 50 or 60 years later, having had a faithful and fulfilling love life. We don't call those people experts. We call them lucky." (-Amy Bloom)

I am not one of these "lucky" few (nor, if you're interested is Amy Bloom, author of the above-referenced article). Some might say that I've done the research necessary in order to become an expert, however. If wisdom comes from learning from mistakes, I've made enough mistakes in love to be a sage.

Nonetheless, last Wednesday, I got married. Not for the first time. It's an entirely different matter to call oneself an optimist over the age of thirty (especially with so much mileage). However, I believe this story calls for a glass-half-full mentality.

Once upon a time...

In 1992...

two little girls met in Mrs Reid's fourth grade class.

(Hint: I am one of those two girls)

The other girl is my oldest and dearest friend, L. We celebrated our twentieth anniversary last summer in Vegas. We discovered that we are too old for roller coasters and met the actual living descendants of Captain and Maria Von Trapp (We went for tacos with them! At 2am! At Jack-in-the-Box!)

She is my family. She is my heart.

I have always loved the family that came with her (as she did mine) not just because they're awesome, but because they belong to her.


So. My point. I just married my best sister-friend's little brother.



Think about that friend.  The one with whom you first shaved (hacked) your legs. Who listened while you sang Rizzo's part in Grease (over and over). The one you call when your life falls over. The one who sends you flowers with quotes from Bio Dome on the card.

And then you fall in love with her brother and the two of you get married.

That's what I did. On Wednesday. August 14th because it was their beloved grandparents' wedding anniversary. I married my best friend's brother. Not only that, but I got to marry his WHOLE FAMILY. And he got to marry mine.

The whole thing is so filled with joyous memories that distilling it once again becomes my blessing and my curse.

Deep breath...

The day before the wedding, by miracle or design, my fiance and I find ourselves alone in a quiet house. It is a "Remember This Moment" moment. As though the collective sum of our troubled pasts has somehow imploded to create something unspeakably perfect.

Our sister (!!!) L and her amazing partner collected driftwood from Kootenay Lake and created a stunning arch under which we
were married.

 

Everyone cooked. My dad played guitar and sang a playlist (vetted by my mother) of the best love songs ever written. My new brother-in-law brought his turntables all the way from Calgary and played the most beautiful and irreverent set you could imagine.

We wore what we felt like wearing. My new husband wore a Canucks hat and purple high tops. I wore white. Yeah. I know.

We didn't send out invitations. Mostly, we ran into people who were really excited to spend our wedding Day with us and those people showed up.

It was the perfect day. It is the perfect love. The perfect family.

Listen Friends: I would never pretend that I was patient with love. Even if I tried to get away with it, no one who's ever met me would buy it.

I lost faith in love many times after nearly killing myself trying to convince the world of my worth (or lack thereof). I tried so many goddamned times to give my love to people who didn't want it.

My dear friend, J's mom, Donna used to say, "Better no one than an asshole." Now. Not all of the men I've spent time with were assholes. Some were very lovely. Some would qualify in spades. Nonetheless, I venture to expand Donna's saying oh-so-slightly to include, "Better no one than the wrong one."

I cannot say if this is true for you. It has been true for me. Insincerity chafes at the crotch for me. I never get away with it for long before Life kicks me hard in the proverbial junk.

And so, after many years of swimming against the stream, I gave in and adopted a dog. I had pined for a dog for many years. "I'm alone every night. Why not?" This was the physical manifestation of my deciding to make my solo life a joyous one. Not by going to the bar. I was a single mom. I learned to step out beyond the limitations of barely tolerating my own company into the liberating territory of loving myself. It has not been easy. I do not pretend that your road has been easy or will be easy. In fact, I'm SO SORRY for how hard it has already been.

All I can promise is that it's worth it. Please believe me. Just a little?

This bitch got her happily ever after when all hope was exhausted. My best friend is my sister. Her brother is my husband. He's the yin to my yang. The perfect fit. He loves my child the way parents do. He does, like, all the dishes. Seriously. 85% or more.



Please wait. Or don't wait. Make your life as awesome as possible the way it is now. That way, if your perfect fit never shows up, at least you're having a kick-ass time of it.

That was my "strategy" anyway.

From someone who's been there,

-Er

Ode to girl friends

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them

- Unknown

I am ALL about my best girlfriends. Not just today, but always. Not to be totally dramatic (never!) but I would die without them.

They have picked me up (some of them multiple times), seen me through, seen through me and loved me when the best I could muster for myself was mild disdain.

This post is a love letter to my lady friends, the world over.

You know the ones. The ones with whom you can pick back up after the greatest distance and longest time and laugh like twelve year olds. The ones who will take your call in the middle of the night when you are in distress (love you, L).

They help you move (literally and figuratively), drive you to the airport and style your hair.

Don't get me wrong. I count my fiance, dad and bro among my tightest and bestest friends. But there are some convos you can only have with your nearest and dearest gf's.

J (via text): I may never eat gluten again. Feel free to stage an intervention if I do.

Me: I know! Isn't your poop so much better?! My gluten- free poop is so much nicer!

J (after a short pause): That is a lot of personal information. Your secret is safe with me.

***NOTE: bloggers blog their secrets***

Me: BFF's talk about their poop.

J: Yeah. We do.

One of my BFF's, M recently drove six hours to bring me Cinnzeo and spend less than a day with me for my birthday. Slimy, peely leper-looking face masks, Indian food and so many more laughs than I can count and then she drove six hours home. Who does that?!

My friends do. Dear God, I love them.

They have baked birthday cakes for me, convinced me to stop wearing mascara on my bottom lashes, given me funny nicknames (Lefty comes from A after I called to complain of having forgotten to put deodorant on my left armpit) and been so very patient and encouraging as I stumbled and fumbled my way through life.

They come with kind menfolk who have been my Knights in Shining Armour while I waited for my own to arrive.

They live in Victoria, Vancouver, Nicaragua, the West Kootenays and just down the street. We have known each other all our lives or just a few months. It doesn't matter. They are so dear to me.

Our lives are busy and sometimes the best we can manage is a text message...

(Actual text message received from my cousin)

And this is my love letter to them.

I love you. Thank you for including me and my kiddo even though we threw off your table by being single. Thank you for sending flowers and prayers and holding my hand when I fell apart. You are warrior queens, every single one of you and my life is richer and infinitely more fabulous for having known you.

You bless me with your friendship and talk of bowel movements.

You know who you are.


With love and friendship,

Er

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...

It's a very good place to start...

Unless (like yours' truly) you don't know quite where the beginning begins.  And then you just jump right in and start from where you're at.

I'm sorry to say that where I'm at is an absurdly happy place. Perhaps the beginning is not such a happy place. I promise to share that part as well. The not-so-happy corners of this life have made the absurdly happy view from the lovely perch on which I currently sit all the more lovely.

So. Let's see if we can manage a starting place.

I am in love and I'm going to get married.

No! Wait! Don't go!

It's an almost ridiculously fairytale chapter in my otherwise dramedy of a life. And such an appropriately yogic end to my tale of romantic strife. I searched for...millenia (lifetime upon lifetime not to mention the disaster film of my twenties in this lifetime). And here it is. Waiting for me.

I'll tell you some of my disastrous dating history, just so you don't think I'm some ridiculous sap and never come back...

Wanna start with online dating? I learned a lot from that.

My Top 5 Online Dating Disasters (in no particular order)

1). Plentyoffish.com is its very own special disaster for women. (You know what I'm talking about).
I was matched with a nice-looking fellow. We agreed to meet for drinks after work. When I got there, he was already hammered and had neglected to mention that half his face had been caved in during an unfortunate bar fight. After one drink. he asked me to drive him to his brothers' house so he could pass out. (Note from my much cleverer friend, L who met her handsome husband online several years ago: always webcam prior to actually meeting).

2). A very rich man + a $200 bottle of wine + some troubles in his "down there department" + being blamed and yelled at for his troubles  = me fleeing a very fancy hotel in the middle of the night and swearing off all dating for about six months.

3). A very handsy first date with a spanker (????). Which would have been bad enough had the hands in question not been the size of dinner plates (another six months)

4). A very kind guy with no fingers (and, as such, no job).

5). Another very kind man in whom I had zero interest due to mitigating circumstances, who nonetheless attempted to kiss me. And missed. Twice. (This one kept me off the scene for about a year).

There are just a few of the lowlights. I'm sure we'll share many more during our time together.

And now when I share my happiness, you'll know I've earned it.

I'm so excited to share this conversation with you xo

Tell me your disasters!

Tell me your love stories...and  I'll tell you mine.

Blessings,

Er