Happiest. Chick. Ever.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." —Mahatma Gandhi

Okay. So. Was the tone of my last blog (http://beeatree.blogspot.ca/2013/07/why-i-go-to-therapy-and-you-should-too.html?spref=fb) upbeat and hopeful? That was my intention...

Buuut in the spirit of mental health being a somewhat squeamish subject for some of you, I've decided to write a follow-up piece about how I am currently living the way I intend to MOST OF THE TIME IN MOST AREAS OF MY LIFE!

Have you any idea how miraculous this is?! It means that all that needs to shift in order to be living EXACTLY as I intend to is the scale.

Here's how it shakes down:

*I am writing my Truth and telling it to the world. Approximately SIX HUNDRED of you are reading my truth and to you I am deeply, staggeringly and humbly  grateful. Thank you. A lot.

*I teach yoga one night a week. About a dozen of you are devoted students. About fifty of you are semi-regular. Some of you have come once and not liked it very much. Some of you have thought about coming half a dozen times but Survivor was on. Some of you didn't know I was a yoga teacher prior to reading this post. You will find teachers who are stronger, bendier, balancier than me. But I deeply love the transformative power of this practice and I am thrilled to be able to share it with you.

I'm sending the biggest blessing I have to every single one of you that I practice with. Or will practice with to any degree. Or not. I bow to you. I bow to my colleagues all over the world who are spreading the good word. I bow as deeply as a person can bow to my teachers.

PS you are ALL my teachers.

*I have the most inspiring, kindest, most forgiving, non-judgemental, supportive, talented, funniest, amazingest fiance ever. Really. Best of everything. I recently thanked his mom for him. Everyone who has met him will testify. He really is the best human*

*with the exception of my daughter. If there is a cooler human than her, I've yet to encounter him/her. My fiance agrees.

*We grow some of our own food. Lettuce, kale, spinach (which didn't really turn out, but we eat it anyway). Soon-to-be wax beans. Some herbs that I planted and can't identify because I chucked them in pots and rows without rhyme or labels. We eat organic meat and some tofu and when we're not eating quinoa every night, we're eating bacon because it makes us happy.

In the spirit of full disclosure, we still eat sugar. But we both drink a green thing every day.

*I practice yoga (fairly) regularly, eat (mostly) really clean, meditate with deep devotional gratitude. And I feel DAMN good.  I've been thinner (which usually means that I'm stressed right out and not eating). I'm not without jiggle. But I'm in my body and it's a conversation instead of a civil war between my ass and my self esteem. I don't define my love for myself (or lack thereof) by the number on the scale. In fact, I threw my scale in the garbage. I haven't weighed myself in years. This is a big deal for me. I used to weigh myself at least three times a day and judge myself HARD. I love myself more than that now.

This is a hard-earned happiness. I've earned it and I'm appreciating every single second. I only have to get slightly pissy before I realize that I have everything I could ever want.

So. Why is this chick telling us how crazy she is one day and then how happy she is the next? Because, Dear Reader. I want you to be happy too. I want you to hear it from someone who's been to the dark and back. This happiness is available to you once you survive whatever it is you're going through.

Rooting for you,

-Er