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Thursday 20 June 2013

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...


It's a very good place to start...


Unless (like yours' truly) you don't know quite where the beginning begins.  And then you just jump right in and start from where you're at.

I'm sorry to say that where I'm at is an absurdly happy place. Perhaps the beginning is not such a happy place. I promise to share that part as well. The not-so-happy corners of this life have made the absurdly happy view from the lovely perch on which I currently sit all the more lovely.

So. Let's see if we can manage a starting place.

I am in love and I'm going to get married.

No! Wait! Don't go!

It's an almost ridiculously fairytale chapter in my otherwise dramedy of a life. And such an appropriately yogic end to my tale of romantic strife. I searched for...millenia (lifetime upon lifetime not to mention the disaster film of my twenties in this lifetime). And here it is. Waiting for me.

I'll tell you some of my disastrous dating history, just so you don't think I'm some ridiculous sap and never come back...

Wanna start with online dating? I learned a lot from that.

My Top 5 Online Dating Disasters (in no particular order)

1). Plentyoffish.com is its very own special disaster for women. (You know what I'm talking about).
I was matched with a nice-looking fellow. We agreed to meet for drinks after work. When I got there, he was already hammered and had neglected to mention that half his face had been caved in during an unfortunate bar fight. After one drink. he asked me to drive him to his brothers' house so he could pass out. (Note from my much cleverer friend, L who met her handsome husband online several years ago: always webcam prior to actually meeting).

2). A very rich man + a $200 bottle of wine + some troubles in his "down there department" + being blamed and yelled at for his troubles  = me fleeing a very fancy hotel in the middle of the night and swearing off all dating for about six months.

3). A very handsy first date with a spanker (????). Which would have been bad enough had the hands in question not been the size of dinner plates (another six months)

4). A very kind guy with no fingers (and, as such, no job).

5). Another very kind man in whom I had zero interest due to mitigating circumstances, who nonetheless attempted to kiss me. And missed. Twice. (This one kept me off the scene for about a year).

There are just a few of the lowlights. I'm sure we'll share many more during our time together.

And now when I share my happiness, you'll know I've earned it.

I'm so excited to share this conversation with you xo

Tell me your disasters!

Tell me your love stories...and  I'll tell you mine.

Blessings,

Er

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